How To Get Rid of Dog Farts

Posted by Jennifer Clark on

Canine flatulence… not much else needs to be said, am I right? But for the sake of this blog, I might as well continue for your entertainment.

If you’re a dog owner, you know just how terrible their gas can be. Silent but deadly, or loud and down-right terrifying. Don't you wish there was a solution to keep such horrors at bay?

This morning came as no surprise to me when my dog, Padmé (Yes, Star Wars), delivered a mighty blast as I walked by her raised rump while she stretched after a long nights rest. It was loud, drawn out and she looked completely pleased with herself. I swear I could taste it… It doesn’t complement morning coffee and buttered toast very well; I can attest to that.

Other times it happens while she sleeps peacefully, only to wake herself up in a panic because the mighty blast of booty gas scared the (not literal, thank goodness) crap out of her.

Depending on what you feed your canine friend, the smell can be down right revolting and completely clear out a room. Leaving your dog absolutely stunned as to why everyone has run away, screaming, crying, laughing, etc. Heck, sometimes the dog runs with you and the darn stench follows them. At this point, your pupper is really heckin confused and starts to think "maybe this is a game?" 

“Oh, I get it! I love a good game of chase!” ...Uh oh...

Well, now you’ve done it. The smell follows close behind and you gotta grab a full bottle of continuous spray air freshener to try and vanquish the horror your sweet, innocent companion has so valiantly produced.

“WHY?!” you cry out, unable to escape and obviously suffering immense nasal damage. Your nose hairs are likely diminished to nothingness now.

Your dog on the other hand is having a great time and probably still letting em rip while they follow you excitingly throughout the house. All that movement is only helping their intestines pass things along. It won’t be long now until its time to go outside to potty. At least with YupCollars, your dog will look super chic no matter how bad their booty stinks.

Butt, (haha, puns) to be fair, we aren’t any better about our own flatulence and the dogs are likely to agree. With that powerful nose I can’t even begin to imagine what goes through their heads when we casually lean to the side and let one go. On the other hand, maybe they get a kick out of it? Seeing as dogs greet each other by sniffing butts, this is a super convenient loop-hole. They don’t have to put any work into saying "hello" or finding out where you’ve been. All that glorious information is now floating through the air of the room and your pal has either vacated the premises or is contently sniffing the air... ya nasty.

Either way, no matter how old we get, flatulence will always be comedic and worth writing blogs or doing school speeches about it. Fun fact, this is my first blog entry! Ironically, it was also the topic I chose for my first public school speech.

I really haven’t changed much...

If you want to get rid of dog farts, you're barking up the wrong tree. I can't help you there. Passing gas is as normal as breathing, you just have to try and control what they eat. What goes in, must come out... but that's a topic for another blog entry.

Until next time, get an extra bottle of continuous spray air freshener and think of me fondly.

Sincerely;

Jennifer Clark 


Share this post



← Older Post Newer Post →


2 comments

  • 2018-2019 @NovaServesPhoenix worked with me at an elementary school (until I could no longer work :/). She would often let out silent bombs of yuck. The kids in my classroom would then beg me to spray the air freshener to clear the air. Eventually, anyone could fart and they would blame it on Nova! LOL

    Marian J Ali on
  • Hilarious and disgusting! I have 7 dogs so I feel your pain, like 24/7.
    Your very first blog entry is great! I hung onto each word. It is very well written, entertaining, and reads like a story!

    Amanda on

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published.